The Necessary Nutrients

Evil is a blessing in disguise
if you go into the turd and 
find the nutrients for growth. 

Without the evil’s compost,
where would we find lessons
to learn from? From a mistake,
we’re polished, larger the error,
more nutrients we must find. 

Not all find growth in fatality, 
but those who do, won’t deny 
that it would be preferable to
be without evil, but without evil
where would the ground find 
the turd necessary for growth? 

I once thought evil was too
much, too difficult to handle, 
until I did an evil deed. Then,
it all fell apart. I fell apart. How
can I live with turd beside me? 

The smell was insufferable, I 
found ways to justify what I did.   

Evil now was a part of me, how
could I deny what I had done?
I tried for a while, but the smell. 
I washed myself, but to no avail. 

Evil is evil even when I say it is 
not. My psyche broke apart until
I accepted it. I was imperfect, I 
found excuses to succumb to easy
ways out. I wanted out, but once
inside the gut of a drunken cellar,
it is almost impossible to part away. 

I hadn’t seen light in several years. 
There were those who attempted 
to exorcize me, but honestly failed.  

No one can go into another’s turd,
reach into what needs to be morphed
and say, I can find you a way out. 

No one! Don’t double dip an error,
find the nitrogen, phosphorus and 
potassium, find the hidden potential
and transform the valley of regret 
into a forest of patient discipline. 

There’s a burning desire inscribed 
into the deepest of your impulses. 

Observe the tide as it comes to get
you, let it fade away, once faded, 
sit in stillness. The shore’s silence 
will clarify what is an emotion, what
is a thought, what is an action, what
is beyond all evil, wait until the sun
rises. You’ll be blinded, nothingness
will dissipate when your eyes adjust 
after having living with moonlight 
all of your life. What is that desire 
that blinds all other desires? What
is that color that tints your vision 
of hope? What is that rhythm that
you succumb to as you fall asleep?

Hear the beating become louder 
and louder until there’s a union 
between yourself and that heart. 

The world’s heartbeat is yours too
until we realize that, we’ll struggle
to disarticulate evil form our joints. 

Since we aren’t there, since we’re 
still struggling, if you fall into turd,
find the necessary nutrients, grow. 

I’m still observing the tide shy away,
I’ll let it fade. I might never find 
stillness, nonetheless blind, I’ll be 
what longs for a blissful rest, I'll
adjust every time I make a mistake.    
I’ll even stand the stench and grow.